It was around 2 a.m. and I was standing in what would have normally been a dark parking lot, but the dozens of police and fire vehicles made it anything but dark. I had just been through one of the worst couple of hours of my life. I was safe, others were not.

Once the dust settled, there was one phone call I needed to make, one voice I needed to hear.

“First off, I’m okay. But Mom this is really bad.”

I had held it together pretty well considering the trauma I had just seen and felt, but the adrenaline was wearing off, and my brain was struggling to process what I had just experienced. The call I had just responded to was the 2012 mass shooting at a movie theater in Aurora.

I was a tough cop and had seen a lot in 13 years on the job, but when my mom’s sleepy voice picked up, I immediately had tears running down my face.

I could have let her sleep, but this was a selfish call. I needed to hear the one voice that could provide comfort and calm for me. I knew that the tough days and weeks had just begun for me and my teammates, so I needed a brief moment of reassurance and comfort from that familiar voice, no matter how strong and tough I thought I was. It helped immensely and got me through until the next day when I would get a comforting mom hug in person.

When people ask about my “why” as in why I love being a cop, and why I keep doing this job, a big part is making my family, friends, and especially my parents proud. My mom (and dad before his passing) were at every promotion and award ceremony, and my mom has pinned on every badge that I have worn in my career. This is why I strive to never tarnish the badge or bring disgrace to this profession. I would never want to disappoint those I care about, especially my mom.

In May we celebrate Mother’s Day, I want to give a special thanks to my mom as I would not be where I am today without her support and love. I also want to thank all of the moms out there, including our BPD moms who continue to balance all of the demands of being a mom, while also working in this tough profession! We salute you!

In partnership,

Steve Redfearn, interim Police Chief